Happy Late Valentine's Day!!!
I love this holiday more than any other. Well, other than Christmas of course.
I love that we dedicate one day out of the year to specifically take the opportunity to tell our loved ones in our lives how much we truly love them and couldn't live without them.
I sent out valentines to all my loved ones, so, the holiday was a success. ;)
Even though the entire day I was driving with the Hunt family for eight hours to reach Tahoe for the weekend... I still felt the valentine's day magic.
It's crazy how we drove eight hours just to reach snow. They're skiing all weekend and they brought me to stay in the lodge with Thomas. Am I jealous? Extremely so. But I'm getting some serious overtime! So I feel content. haha.
I feel completely in my element, being in the mountains and snow. I really miss Utah sometimes. Growing up there I caught myself wondering why people would want to stay there their whole lives. But I see it. :) Utah is a beautiful, friendly, small town/big city combination. And I plan to live there for most of my life! I love Utah!
I'm currently obsessed with Downton Abbey on PBS, Physique 57 workout DVD's, water with lemon in the mornings, Alicia Keys-"This Girl is On Fire", Bruno Mars-"If I was Your Man", Mumford and Sons-"I Will Wait for you", raw food recipes, and everything missionary related.
I've currently been deciphering what I need to be doing once I'm done being a nanny in August. I was so sure I needed to come out here and take this job. But after that? I had no idea.
I had about fifteen different options of what I wanted to do after I was done here, and I knew I needed to make a decision soon. Everything was due in the next two months: Applications, scholarships, grants, internships... and for me anything was possible. I was willing to go anywhere and do anything. Truly. I would do ANYTHING... as long as I felt like that's what I needed to do. I would put in the effort and do my research and then wait to be guided to the right decision.
This has worked for me in the past-but I still felt like I was missing something. Like I hadn't thought of something or that I was on the brink of figuring out the next step to take. Whatever it was, I knew it would be another adventure similar to coming out to L.A. and being a nanny for a year. So, feeling that, nothing was too crazy or off limits. Some of the things I considered: enroll in UCLA, move out of the Hunt home and nanny for them part time. Take an internship for an herbalist, or nutritionist in San Diego. Work longer until December. Move back to Utah and go to USU or WSU and study elementary ed, or something like that. Take an internship for a dance studio in Utah. Go to Ireland and intern for an herbalist for three months. Teach english in Europe or Thailand. Work abroad in Greece or Costa Rica. Intern for an Herbal Supplement garden in Portland, Oregon. Intern for an Herbalist in Hawaii. ---Point is, I had all of these options, loved them all, and didn't feel partial to any of them in particular. I was waiting for that gut feeling of !!!!YES!!!! when I looked into each of these and it just wasn't coming. I was praying for guidance in every prayer and I just had this feeling of... All things will unfold in the near future. Like I wasn't QUITE ready for the answer yet..
A week later I felt I should ask my oldest sister for advice. I called her up, told her all of my options, and after I was through she asked, "Are you sure you're not supposed to serve a mission?" I immediately shut that topic down as quickly as it came up. I didn't think anything of it. It was wonderful that the age limit has dropped for young women with a desire to serve a mission- but that young woman was certainly not me.
I then asked my best friend which option I should take and she said, "Whatever you choose, I know all of the options will make you happy. But Hay, I don't mean to be THAT person but, have you ever thought about a mission?" I was annoyed this had come up again and was about to give her the same response I gave my sister and then stopped myself. Had I ever seriously thought about a mission? I knew I sure didn't want to. So I never thought to pursue it. And I knew what I needed to do.
I prayed and asked if after I'm done being a nanny in August, should I serve a mission??
I want to promise you right now-what I felt after asking that question has forever changed me. I am needed in the mission field. The Lord has called me on a mission and I could not deny it. I will remember that feeling and answer forever! I am going on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints!!
I was completely terrified to be honest. I did NOT want to go on a mission. did not. But after I received that amazing and intense answer to my prayer this line kept repeating in my head, "I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it." spoken by the prophet Joseph Smith after the Lord and our Savior Jesus Christ appeared to him in the Sacred Grove, answering his prayer of which church to join.
Certainly my experience wasn't as amazing as Joseph Smith, but it was all I needed for me to know, without a doubt, that I knew the next step to take. And I was to be brave, trusting, and follow through.
I wanted an answer so badly, and now that I had it-I was going to shrivel up and cry in a corner over it? Even though it wasn't an answer that I wanted or thought I needed, it was the answer the Lord gave me and He knows much better than I do of what needs to happen in my life, and what will make me the happiest. The Lord felt I was ready to see the next phase of my life, so I needed to accept the call and prepare to serve the Lord.
It was mainly hard to accept because I felt I had served my time, so to speak. I obeyed the feeling to pick up everything and move to L.A. for a year! I've had many opportunities to share the gospel out here, and grow in my relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. So isn't that enough? Now He wants me to be away from my family for another 18 months?? It was almost too much to accept. Not to mention the fear of being prepared enough to preach the gospel anywhere in the world. How the HECK was I supposed to do this?????????????? AHHHHH!
But then,
After the fear and questions leave my mind- I realize that coming out to California wasn't my mission. It was in preparation for a mission.
So! I have all of my paperwork filled out and I'm just waiting for my dentist and doctor appointments next weekend. And if all goes smoothly, I'm hoping to receive my call sometime by the end of March/early April. HOW EXCITING!!!
I get to be among the first group of sisters to serve with the new age limit! I feel so privileged. :)
I know that this is what I need to do, more than I've known anything in my entire life.
Even though this isn't exactly what I had in mind... when has it ever been? haha.
I know I'll never regret going on a mission and I'm determined to serve no matter how much Satan tries to talk me out of it. And believe me, he's trying.
I feel that those that read my blog, must care about me somewhat, so that's why I've decided to share this experience on here.
It's a funny stage of life that I'm in right now.
Single, with so many options, and so many changes.
Friends on missions, getting married, getting married, and getting married.
I'm still adjusting to this grown up stuff.
I feel like I just got out of high school! But if you ask Sophie and Tobin, they think I'm super old. But.. Tobin asked me the other day, when I'll be turning 11. haha. So. Maybe I shouldn't use them as a comparison.
But today in the ski shop, the owner came over to me and baby Thomas and told me how cute Thomas was. Thomas shrugged away into my shoulder like he does when he pretends to be bashful. And the owner said, "Aw, you just want to stay with mommy don't you?" and chuckled and walked away. I was like ".....uh" but I didn't know what to say. Tell him I'm the nanny?The sitter? his sister? his aunt? But I ended up just playing it off like it was nothing. But in my head I was like 'Seriously????' Do I really look like I could be a momma? I still feel like I look like I'm fourteen. But me and Thomas actually look somewhat alike so I'll blame it on that.
But even that little experience through me for a loop! I'm going to be a mommy before long! Good heavens!
Every year of my life after high school has been a completely different adventure, but has been a perfect preparation for the next year to follow. It's tricky only knowing your life one year at a time, but it's kind of exciting too. I've never been one who likes the same old thing over and over again. So maybe I need to count my blessings huh?
For example-after my mission?? I have no clue. I have a few hundred ideas. Similar to the list above. So I'll just turn everything over to the Lord and enjoy the ride. It's silly to pretend that I'm the one directing my life anyway. This seems to be the lesson I need to learn. So I might as well hurry up and learn it.
I love my life and I love the Lord and His gospel. I'm the luckiest girl I know.
Much Love to send your way,
Halee
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